"Целительство и позитивное намерение представляют собой просто аспект непрерывного двухстороннего потока коммуникации между всем сущим. Вера в исцеляющую силу и позитивное эмоциональное состояние человека, получающего целительное воздействие, могут усилить результаты. Исследование Фрица Поппа показывает, что степень когерентности светового излучения организма связана с общим состояния здоровья. Когда целители здоровы, находятся в хорошем расположении духа и прошли " разогрев", их свет сияет ярче.

Самым успешным целителем может быть тот, кто сам исцелен."

Эксперимент по намерению.

автор Линн Мак-Таггарт.

Разогрев в моем понимании : это концентрация и настрой на работу. В моем случае- медитация, практика до классов.

Glossary:

Yoga nidra - an ancient technique that allows to feel kinesthetically the Higher Self that is beyond the mind and body. It is considered a meditative practice.

Ashtanga yoga - a psychophysical practice. It is considered an authentic practice, which I use 6 times a week. There are 6 series in ashtanga yoga, each series has its own impact on psyche and physical body of a person. These series are  mastered gradually, it usually takes from 3 to 5 years to master one series.

Also, there is a clear sequence of poses in ashtanga yoga. The main difference from other   postural practices : all movements are synchronized with a person's breathing, consequently, a person actively sweats, improves breathing, increases immunity, and strengthens the nervous system.

Kosha - shells that limit various levels of human consciousness: from physical and more subtle, mental level to the causal level. Purpose of spiritual practice - to transform and spiritualize koshas.

Asana - poses in yoga practice

The research work purpose: We practice the same sequence of poses every day. We experience certain emotions on the mat, as poses sometimes excite the nervous system and serve as triggers for many people. In my work, I want to pay attention to my reaction, since trigger asanas show us our vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities are our indicators, we can recognize our injuries working on them. The work shall take place in a complex way: psychotherapy, create synergy with yoga teacher, connect a meditative practice - yoga nidra. 

Audience: 

Ashtanga yoga practitioners and teachers.

I worked with below mentioned book, research and talk:

Bessel van der Kolk in his book The Body Keeps the Score;

I am Yoga Nidra online course and book  (Amrit Yoga Institute, Kamini Desai);

Dr. Joe Dispenza  Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One

Loretta Graziano Breuning

Ted talk Your body language may shape who you are by Amy Cuddy

Ted talk The Power of vulnerability by Brene Brown

American Tragedy Lisa Sobey

Self experience of practice and teaching.

Introduction:

I want to voice and write down all the techniques with which I am practically familiar, thereby you will know the source of workshop information.

Let me write it down:

• yoga nidra,
• meditation,
• breathwork
• ashtanga yoga, 

Let's work together to distribute the listed techniques into groups and link them to the main directions.

As you can see, different techniques affect:

• Conscience ,
• Nervous system,  
• Body

According to my observations, these practices lead us to the next stages of development:

• Self-observation;
• Return to oneself;
• Trigger recognition;
• Disidentification from emotions;
• Destroying old patterns, creating new ones;
• Healing a physical and emotional body;

First of all, I suggest considering which diagram we will work on in order to have a common language:

I took the five body shells as a basis of my explanation (hereinafter - kosha). They were first mentioned in the Taittiriya Upanisad. Many spiritual traditions say that we are all one. At the level of the oceans, we are one. In the form of our body, we are just a drop of the ocean, and we tend to suffer, be traumatized and identified with the mind illusions due to the fact that we have forgotten about our unity.

Understanding about koshas describes the incarnation process of unmanifested and undifferentiated (ocean) into the physical form of body (drop), and individual components of this drop are 5 shells:

• Physical body - annamaya kosha
• Energy body - pranamaya kosha
• Mental body - manomaya kosha
• Body of wisdom - vijnanamaya kosha

The fifth kosha - annandamaya kosha, body bliss has a direct connection with the ocean. It is an awareness, feeling of our divine nature, that gives us the understanding that we are part of a large ocean. 

And when we come to yoga, we try to improve the quality of our life consciously or unconsciously. 

We can  heal, establish a connection with body, observe body sensations, turn off the body, calm the nervous system, as well as to slow down to lay new seeds related to the new reality when we practice yoga. To work on ourselves, we develop: perception organs and observation of breathing and emotions on the mat, because we either use old life patterns or we use new patterns developed on the mat, destroying the old ones.

Let's look at each of the above practices that works specifically with shells:

In yoga nidra, meditation and pranayama:

under guidance of the teacher, we form contact with the body, you forget about your own body (you stop feeling your position in space), about the environment (the outside world disappears) and time (you have no idea how long you are in practice, emotional body experiences a pleasant peace. Fluctuation of the mind goes to a slow rhythm (brain waves slow down to the Theta Level). It opens up the subconscious edges as well.

we are planting new seeds in intellectual body, giving full freedom to realization of the energy body, 

when we get to the casual body - body of bliss, we are able to rewrite the contents of our mind, lay healthy intentions.

we can change the world around us by changing ourselves.

as a rule, physical body heals where the pranic body begins to circulate smoothly and freely.

Practice of ashtanga yoga shall be perceived differently, the practice reflects our fears and pain, which are embedded in the subconscious.

As we strengthen the physical body, it pulls all other related bodies and prepares us for meditation, and I have already explained the meditation scheme to you.

But here is one thing that  we did not take into account. Indeed, ashtanga yoga has its own feature. Sometimes it works out as trigger asanas and it affects particularly the person who was traumatized  once. Asanas will serve as an unpacking of the emotional body through physical body.

I am now talking about a group of people who have not physically injured, but those who are stuck in a certain position, those who experience constant fear, anger in practice.

To face trauma, it is not necessary to take part in combat operations as injuries happen to us, our friends, relatives and neighbors. Injuries are what we perceive from physical, emotional and other unsettling experiences.

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention of the United States showed that one of five Americans were abused in childhood,

One of four was beaten by their parents, and about one of three couples is physically abused. A quarter of us had close relatives who were alcoholics in childhood, and one of eight people witnessed how his mother was beaten.

Kazakhstan ranks third in the world in the number of suicides and is the leader among the countries of Central Asia. This is data from the World Health Organization. Suicide is a multifactorial phenomenon. When analyzing the statistics of suicides in Kazakhstan, it turned out that the most common factor preceding suicide is depressive symptoms, personal characteristics of people taking this step, and social isolation, a sense of loneliness and interpersonal 

conflicts.
International statistics collection and analysis company Statista conducted a global survey on mental health of people from all over the planet. Russia was the fourth in the ranking of countries in terms of the number of residents who have experienced psychological problems over the past 12 months.
 

What do asanas give us?

Let's return our mind to Navasana, Kapotasana, Sirsana, and Catching hills, Ekapada, Dvipada, Pincha. Do those postures evoke emotions? 

 We practice yoga asanas. Yoga asanas touch those nodes in the body, and cause the same emotions as situations from life. We do not want to face it again. We are reacting according to a familiar scenario.

I have an example: one day I explained to a group the meaning that everyone has their own emotional content & experience of pain, fear. The feelings are pain, fear does not have measure, colour. The pain & fear which we have outside from the practice is the same which we have during practice. 

So then I asked the group  what urdhva dhanurasana reminds them?

Then I have a wonderful answer:

• It reminds me of when I got divorced. I could not breathe, my heart was broken. I don’t want to feel it again.
• It reminds me of when we moved to a new country. I  did not know what would happen with our future. When I go down I have the same situation. I trust the process & teacher. I hope I can relax soon.

I asked then what about Ekapada?

• It reminds me that I am not responsible. I can not hold one leg on my back. I do the same in my life. I can not reach my goals.  I was angry after practice. I want to skip practice, so I started yoga to be happy, not angry.

What about Dvipada?

• I can not hold my intentions and find balance in my life. One intention: to practice, second :to be mother & wife. 
• I had school bullying. I can not be super open, this posture has pressure for me, it gives me the same feelings . I need to learn how to be more friendly, but I don't want to change. I usually skip this posture.

What about pincha?

• I live with reference to a plan. Pincha teaches how to live spontaneously. Fall is a good experience.

At the moment when the asana shows our places where there is not enough flexibility, pelvic opening, a strong core, what do we do? 

We are consolidating the skill:

We quit and return to the comfort zone. We repeat patterns from outside life. That is, I want to say that the behavior that we use outside of the mat is repeated during practice.

What is happening? I will explain now.

A constantly working neuron over time is covered with a shell of special substance called myelin. This substance significantly increases the efficiency of a neuron as a conductor of electrical impulses. This can be compared with the insulated wires that can withstand a much greater load than bare ones. Myelin-coated neurons work without spending excessive effort, which is characteristic of slow, open neurons.  A synapse is a place of contact (a small gap) between two neurons. An electrical impulse in our brain can move only if it reaches the end of a neuron with sufficient force to “jump through” this gap to the next neuron. These barriers help us filter out really important incoming information from irrelevant so-called noise. Passage of an electric pulse through synaptic gaps is a very complex natural mechanism. It can be imagined in the following way: whole flotilla of boats accumulates at the tip of one neuron, which transports the neural spark to special receiving docks available at a nearby neuron. Each time the boats cope better with transportation. That is why the experience we get increases the chances of transmitting electrical signals between neurons. There are more than 100 trillion synaptic connections in the human brain. Our life experience plays an important role in conducting nerve impulses through them so that it corresponds to the survival interests.

On a conscious level, you cannot decide which synaptic connections you should develop. They are formed in two main ways:

1) Gradually, by repetitions.

2) Simultaneously, under influence of strong emotions.

There is one postulate in neurophysiology, which is called the Hebbian Rule. Nerve cells that are activated together communicate with each other. The Hebbian Rule proves that if you constantly use the same set of nerve cells, then each time it will be easier for them to activate all together. Gradually, a long-term connection is established between such neurons. Stable connections are formed. After a certain number of repetitions, any action becomes habitual, that is, automatically unconscious. What is unconscious? That is when you do not choose the reaction yourself. When the cells act on autopilot mode without your consciousness.

Let's look at how it happens on koshas.

You saw a certain node, block, trigger in the pose and create your reaction. It is a natural thing. But it is worth to note that you repeat this reaction from time to time, thereby creating a strong bond. You need to find yourself on these patterns and get out of them, look towards the reality where you want to enter.

Now I will tell you in detail about how the energy closes the body:

Have you ever noticed that if you are sad and you allow yourself to be sad, the sadness passes and balance returns to you after a while? This happens 

because the energy clot of sadness freely passes through us in order to eventually leave us, if it is allowed to do so. It knows what fusion and integration are. It is like water, which will always find a way out if you do not obstruct it. When a trauma occurs in a person's life, it is inevitable to feel acute pain and such a reaction is quite justified. For example, when a child experiences too traumatic experience, his/her psyche is not able to cope with it at the moment. It is not safe. But it will be blocked in the body as long as the energy of certain emotion is not allowed to be felt, as long as it cannot pass through the pipe and leave it. Asanas can show the time where there are restrictions and block. Focus on those triggers that return you to your comfort zone. Take the indicators. Voice them. Make decisions through breathing and life plan, or contact some experts: psychologist, yoga teacher.

Below is a common reaction in life and how asanas can tell you where you are stuck.

When we find our trigger:

We usually:

push ourselves during the practice;

try avoid asana;

or we think a lot about pain during asana;

and after practice:

we feel ourselves overwear…. 

What if: we learn how to deal with our emotions, feelings and we will give a space to heal ourselves?

In his book The Body Keeps the Score author Bessel van der Kolk talks about the study of Stephen Maier from the Colorado University, who worked together with Martin Seligman from the Pennsylvania University and conducted an experiment.  Topic of the study - animals helplessness.

MaIer and Seligman   shocked  dogs locked in cages systematically with a strong electric shock discharge. They called this condition as inescapable shock. After several electric shocks, researchers opened the cages with dogs and turned on the current again. Several dogs from the control group, who had not received electric shock before, immediately ran away. But the dogs that were subjected to an inescapable shock did not make any attempts to escape, even when the cages were open - they just lay there, whining and defecating.

The mere possibility of getting out of a reality where they are now is not enough for animals or people who have experienced psychological trauma to choose the path to freedom. Like Maier and Seligman's dogs, many traumatized people simply give up. Instead of experimenting with new options, they remain trapped in well-known fear.  

The author writes that his patients who survived trauma repeated the same thing that dogs did. Their Fight or Flight reaction was disrupted, and the result was either excessive excitement or complete apathy. Maier and Seligman found that injured dogs released much more stress than usual. This confirmed the emerging new knowledge about biological background of traumatic stress. Scientists at the Institute of Mental Health have found that traumatized people produce a large amount of stress and this becomes a comfort zone for them. The fact is that they release stress when the danger has already passed. That is, such people do not return to their initial level when there is no threat. 

Ideally, stress hormones should trigger a reaction to a threat and then return to a neutral state, restoring hormonal balance. But such a return mechanism does not work for the injured people. Sympathetic nervous system does not change with the parasympathetic. It drowns out all systems actively, destroying human health.

Joe Dispenza writes in his Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself. How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One that substances corresponding to stress are addictive. That is, we become dependent on our thoughts; they subconsciously cause us a surge of adrenaline, and therefore it is difficult for us to think differently.

We can see this in practice. The nervous system changes after trauma - the world is perceived distorted, there are shifts in perception of danger and security as well.

Important value of this theory lies in the fact that having realized this, we can assume that working on physical body we affect the emotional and mental shells of our body automatically. That's where we have to rebuild our thinking patterns and get ourselves back on the mat through a holistic approach.

There is a hypothesis that asanas purify chakras and reveal granthas, thereby changing a person for the better. Perhaps, it is right. However, how to explain the fact that there are practitioners? with a rather serious, deep poses, but their moral and ethical behavior leaves much to be desired? How to explain to people that certain poses purify their chakras? Is it really so? How can I explore that? 

According to my assumption: asanas really have the property of leaving deep impressions and emotional sensations in the nervous system. 

According to my observations, practice of asanas can cause the following consequences:

1. A person becomes open, happy, calm;
2. A person becomes anxious, hot-tempered, tired, and speaks quickly, hurries;
3. A person closes himself off from society, becomes very disciplined, demanding of himself and others.

I assume that the asana, firstly, gives you the opportunity to experience a deep state. To preserve this feeling, a person closes himself off from the whole world and leaves only the opportunity to practice. Here another conclusion could be made. A fixation in practice. A person protects himself from people, usually goes on a strict diet and becomes obsessed with the practice of asanas. 

Even if the poses give a pleasant feeling and a certain amount of time and person is with a pure aura, in excellent condition, magic of the aftertaste from practice of asanas will return him/her to his/her former state, if he/she does not change the patterns of certain destructive thoughts. Perhaps, training and willpower will master a number of serious poses, but transformation in consciousness will not happen. As a side effect, false ego and mental distortions raise in person.

Here is  an example of distortions arising from asana practice:

One day I received a message from a lovely student: “She asked if she can not come up from karandavasana, does it mean she is not included in the community who do serious yoga? If you feel any discrimination regarding asanas at the class, it means someone see the world from limited mind. I don't mean you, I mean the person who divided the world on good students and bad. Asana & well done practice is  not an indicator of spiritual path. Yoga should include everyone and we are equal.

So what changes a person, if not poses?  

What if it's not the poses, but *the process of working on poses* that makes it possible to recognize injuries, resentments?

The path and process of exploring yourself?

If we consider that when we were born, without taking into account the samskarma....we had no understanding about life... that there is a good and bad experience. Our mind was not limited. 

When I write this text, I remember how I mastered handstands in the gym. More and more children ran up to me to teach me a handstand. But they only started going to gymnastics for a week. We differed by one fact: I had the experience of falling headfirst on a hard floor, but they did not. They were not restricted like me. 

Scientists say that parents, or the environment, their own experience lay a lot of labels in the subconscious. We make correct and incorrect conclusions, respectively. 

5% of analytical mind occupies the space of consciousness - it is the stronghold of logical thinking, responsible for willpower, faith, intentions, creative skills. 

95% is the subconscious space. As we know, the subconscious is open from the age of 2 to 7.  There are positive and negative conclusions embedded in it, from which such restrictions as to jump higher, stand on your hands without a wall, put your feet behind your head, grab your knees in bridges, open a shawl, go to teach, learn yourself are formed.

How do we get to the subconscious in practice? Do you pay attention to how you treat yourself in practice? Or what thoughts constantly haunt you from the past? Asanas have features of returning your consciousness to the past, because they create the feeling of a container where you are watching your own movie. Usually your movie scripts are taken from the past. 

In a special issue dedicated to murders in schools, expert Lisa Sobey, founder of the Parents to Parents Foundation and author of American Tragedy explains about mental health of children: If parents do not have an understanding of mental health, they create all conditions in order to educate the copies of themselves and people form brains covering life events at the age of 12 to 27. The brain, hormones are sharpened at such moment. In English, there is a concept like “name it to teach/learn”. You need to name the emotion that you are experiencing and take a guide from here to learn this emotion. If you feel angry, name this emotion, you will understand that the emotion is in your mental content. Find a way to get out of this emotion. Voicing own state, the emotion passes to another part of the brain. All emotions are located in limbic cortex of the brain. But by voicing them, we connect to prefrontal cortex, the part that is responsible for logical thinking and will teach a person to pause and realize the process

Coming back to the idea that asanas bring us back to the past. Indeed, by changing positions of the body, we can connect to our memories, since it is contained in our emotional body and limbic cortex of the brain begins to actively return experiences from the past.

Joe Dispenza also says that the mental content is unchanged. The body believes mistakenly that it is in the past again, that is, learned thoughts and feelings constantly transfer our body to the past. All vital energy is spent on maintaining this learned background and, therefore, the body becomes rigid, heavy and difficult to change.  

At such moment, I suggest that everyone create the following conditions for themselves:

1. Stop the practice. Calm your breathing. Take a pause.
2. Create a synergy with teacher or group, say out loud everything that you feel now to the teacher.
3. Create a safe environment. What is a safe environment? This is a yoga mat behind your back, this is a conversation with a teacher. Try without haste asana, which creates the same conditions, the same feeling in emotional body.
4. Realize that you do not know anything about the pose. Attend seminars, online classes, or an individual lesson on pose that evokes emotions.
5. Analyze the memories and feelings with a psychologist that this emotion causes.
6. Make an intention. The intention should be written in the present tense, concise and formulated clearly.
7. Make a plan for mastering the pose. Accept the fact that this is not about getting something done in practice, it is about process. Let go of the reins that the pose should fit in time. The pose indicates where there is a clamp and block. By studying it, you are exploring yourself and your reactions, conclusions.
8. Connect breathing practice, affirmations. This way will help you to change content of your mind. And your neurons will create a new you.

In conclusion, I want to say that it is easiest for traumatized people to get additional trauma on a mental or physical level on the mat, in yoga community.

Many of us need to reconsider the method of conducting classes. Words, asana corrections, deep adjustment can be triggers to a person. Compassion, patience and a comprehensive approach to the process will lead many people to healing. Mental health is a hard-to-mine fossil in the body. We can voice and realize only by understanding our behavior on the mat that there are facets in the psyche that have not yet been explored.

P.S. If you spot errors or would like to discuss details of my work, please email me sandirakh@yandex.ru

We played a mystical game in the yard when I was 5-6 years old , in the 90s. The main idea of the
game was to call any hero to own dream at the night. We did a certain ritual and invocation.
I remember how I wished to see God in my dream.
And that night in a dream I found myself in a tropical country and in front of me was a huge, a
beautiful gold statue . I looked at the statue and I felt that it was a God.
There was no one in the dream.
It was me and only my thoughts. The name sounded in my head: "This is Buddha."
The next morning, I surprised my parents. I said that in a dream I saw God - his name is Buddha.
At that time, there was only one Russian channel on TV. It was not used to broadcast about
Buddha.
Parents rarely talked about God. When I asked about Buddha, they wondered how I knew about
him.
Dad was a truck driver and brought books and encyclopedias from Moscow and Europe.
Dad opened the encyclopedia for me and showed me the statues. He said that maybe I saw it.
This was my first request to the universe and the answer made me happy.
Later in the first class, a classmate gave me a Bible in Kazakh language . After reading it, I used to
put the book in front of me on my parents' bed and sat down on my knees and prayed.
In the 7th class in kung fu, I first encountered the fact that we were chanting some of the Lao Tzu
sutras. We went to the monastery, looked at the fire for a long time. I didn’t know that it was
meditation. We worked with 5 elements. Developed concentration and intuition. They broke stones
with one blow. We trained 3 times a day. And every day they prayed at the hand-made altars at the
morning and at the night.
Now it is interesting to observe my past time and underline that I was looking for God from early
childhood.

Due to the fact that this question was in my heart, I often asked how people come to God.
I was lonely in my path, there was no one to talk about this topic with in 90-s and after.
Later, my childhood searches, love of concentration and watching fire made me fall in love with
yoga.
Of course, it should be noted that my soul has accumulated enough suffering from external karma.
Subconsciously I had a question how to cleanse my heart after destructive consequences, how not
to lose my concentration.
Above mentioned question arises because my close friends or even family members used to
involved of their manipulations or the swing of the pendulum. And while you sort things out with
everyone, you can lose the essence of yoga, the path to the Creator.
I looked for various ways to keep my mental content from being filled with other people's
thoughts.
I usually went into solitude, into a hermit. But later I realized that communication and building
healthy relationships with people are the fruits of yoga.
Through meditation, I learned to clear my mind and return to my drishti,
so Chapter 6 is closer to me.
And through meditation I feel the presence of God.
If I stayed in the desert, I would practice and meditate all my free time.
For instance after reading Yoga Sutra by Edwin F. Bryant I understood that every soul is pure. He
describes in his book: “ To illustrate the nature of soul as pure consciousness alone, devoid
content, the commentators often refer to the example of pure crystal. When a red flower is placed
next to a crystal, the flower’s color is reflected in the crystal, and so the crystal itself appears to be
red.
Later I read Yoga Sutra by B.K.S. Iyengar he gave the same example but with lens.

I wish to lead to that I was always looking for God. But I always was involved to people reaction.
Then I have been avoiding people for two years. And I spent time for reading.
But I found that every soul is pure.
They used to be involved for gossip, intrigue. All destructive habits left own color like red flower.
Once I understood it, I stop judge everyone and avoid them. I found a way how disconnect with
my ego & mind. The whole art of meditation
aims to separate consciousness from the
phenomenal world with which it has identified itself, to curb the senses that have trapped it, and
to purify it until it can fully channel the light of the soul.
The Bhagavad Gita gives a way how to purify the mind and how after long experience of mediation
we see the pure soul.
Words 12, 16, 25 & 29:
Make your mind one-pointed in meditation, and your heart will be purified.
Arjuna, those who eat too much or eat too little, who sleep too much or sleep to little , will succeed
in meditation.
Little by little, through patience and repeated effort, the mind become stilled in the self.
They see the Self in every creature and all creation in the Self. With consciousness unified through
meditation, they see everything with an equal eye.
I see my body as 5 koshas:anamayakosha, pranamayakosha, manamayakosha, vijnanamayakosha,
anandamayakosha.
When I meditate for more than an hour, my mental body calms down and makes it possible to
switch to alpha waves or theta waves, or ... as in the yoga sutras it is described in the state of
Svapna, Shushupti.

It seems to me that my prana body connects to the intellect body, where I learn patience,
acceptance, freedom, gratitude, high vibrations and feelings of support, the presence of God, his
patronage.
After meditation I have space between emotion and consciousness.
It is a nice platform to communicate of all being .
The shloka “Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu” become my lighthouse of the day.
 

If I could complete the great chronicle The Bhagavad Gita I would add some words for Arjuna...

Additional words of Lord Krishna.
 
Arjuna didn't say anything, because when it silence the God can share with his wise words:
 
Krishna:
Arjuna, tell people that the time they are living is given to get rid of all the attitudes of the mind and principles. I give complete freedom to every soul, the organs of perception so that they can get in touch with me, but they complicate everything themselves. The mind was given to analyze and communicate, to serve each other. The function of the mind is to fluctuation. Any hesitation brings you back to me. By harnessing the mind, you create silence, my voice is heard in silence, you call it "intuition.
 
In your prayers, you call me and ask for something. But I'm creating a mirror image of you. The universe is designed to maintain balance. If I have given you a healthy body, it is only so that you can turn to me without obstacles and serve people.
When addressing me, do not say "give", say "what can I do for you" in response, you will hear that the same thing. I'm here to help.
 
 
I'm everywhere. I'm always with you. but I can be heard where the noises of minds are muffled. my voice is heard through your thoughts, you feel my presence through your heart, sometimes I am present in the image of your teacher, but sometimes I leave him and move into your children or other people. I'm everywhere.
 
 
In difficult moments, always know that in years you will understand why they came. All the difficulties are the beginning of a dialogue with me.
 
I will lay in you the ability to see the future. Only by feeling the present will you see the future. Meditate on me without expectations
 
Character is just the coloring of your consciousness and the totality of your habitual patterns of behavior. Don't tie yourself to the character. Don't waste energy on your image. You're free. Don't stray from your nature. So we will be united.
 
Condemnation is a tool of devaluation. Gratitude is a tool of generation. Remember for the practice of yoga that butterflies fly because they are light.
 
Remember, where there is drama, there is place for an inflated ego or there is spiritual knowledge.
 
Share knowledge if asked.
 
Now people avoid each other for fear of catching each other's toxicity. fools. you are free from all beliefs. you have the tools to exhale what you don't need. you are not this, you are not that. meditation, yoga, concentration of attention on me are the tools.
When you can not hear me, I give a situation so that you can understand that you are going the wrong way.
how do I bless you?  when you born in heatly body is blessing. when you meet mutual love, it is a blessing and dharma. when you learn a new skill, it is a blessing. when you meet teachers, it is the highest blessing.
how do I thank you? do you want to know? I know how to thank and I know how to approve of actions-these are different things. Through the mouths of others, strangers, I thank you. I approve of you through the eyes or gestures of other people. Only by communicating with him, you can understand this. Learn to read the gestures and facial expressions of people, later you will begin to understand the language of animals. The gratitude and love of animals is the highest gratitude that I send to you.
and last words were created not by me.
but below mentioned words changed a lot in my mind let me leave as quote:
 
I admire this simple fact that trees and flowers never complain if they do not get water. They get healtheir or weaker, even go bad depending the circumstances. This may only apply to indoor flowers, but outdoor plants also survive in natural flow energy: nature like this gives us good energy in our lives endlessly, like as they grow faster when it rains." _Hidekisan Innoue.
 
 

Abhinivesha  - the last kleshas, the last affliction. We identify ourselves with body and mind.

We believe that with the death of the body, we die with it.
This where the fear of death is born unconsciously.
Many psychologists and scientists conclude that all fears come from fear of death.
A person lives in a state of "fight or flight" and makes many decisions within the sympathetic nervous system.
Panajali writes in Yoga Sutras that even Abhinivesha is natural even for wishmen.
Even an enlightened person has a natural survival instinct, and therefore an instinctive fear of death, a kind of"program firmware" of the physical body.
According to my observations, we cling to life for several reasons:
 
1. lack of spiritual development;
2. identifying myself as I am the Body and the Mind;
3. affection and accumulation;
4. not knowing what happens after the body dies.

Over the past two years, my family has suffered two losses.
I lost my biological father in 2019, my husband lost his father in 2020.
 
My researching personal trait was studying the behavior of close people at the funeral.
How tragic and painful the ceremony was.
How painful it was for the family and my spouse to accept the loss.
How wise traditions are in central Asia, in  Western Kazakhstan.
 
It wasn't so dramatic in my mind.
At that moment, I realized the fact that my lack of spiritual education and ignorance of death also made me  suffer.
Before going by my gut, I decided to study for myself the very transition from life to death,  the meaning of our traditions as a consequence of which I defined my role in family life.
 
My research work is not finished yet, but there are good guidelines.
I studied two books: The Tibetan Book of the Dead "The Book of Ancestors", The traditions of my people, the study of the activities of a my and my spouse's forefathers and at the moment I I am going into the message of the book "Bhavagadgita".
I believe that it was the death of beloved ones that left an indelible mark on my mind. The main lesson that I learned in the aftermath of recent events was to learn what was unknown and not clear to me. And my research gives me the opportunity to support and tell the right words to all those who come into my life with the same loss. And this is an inevitable cycle of life.
 
I will begin my narration with a short story about the memorial service.
 
In the final moments of man's life, the mullah who is staying near the dying one reminds him of the need to say words from the Koran.
It is believed that when a certain surah is read next to the dying, this contributes to the easy escape of the soul from the body.
The deceased person's eyes are closed, the jaw is tied with a handkerchief, the deceased is undressed, the ablutionary rites is carried out, the body is covered with a sheet and laid so the feet are placed in the direction of Mecca.
 
The notification of the death of close relatives, who for some reason do not know about what happened, is entrusted to an authoritative, senior person, but he hasn't to act alone, not being in a rush, but very carefully.
 
Even in the modern world, Kazakhs put a yurt in the courtyard of the house.
In the yurt, the doors are always open, the tea is hot, a big cooking pot is put in the courtyard and the meal is cooked hot.
Relatives, close people, neighbors, friends from everywhere at different times of the day come to help with cooking, buying food, or simply express condolences in that house where there is a loss of a loved one.
The expression of condolence is accompanied with a strong hug and usually the words are a wish that the soul of the deceased finds peace after death.
 At this point, you’re allowed to let your emotions out.

Women see the body of the deceased at the last moment, men burry in silence, only Mullah is allowed to pray.
To dig a grave and burry is allowed to all those who were nearby during life of the deceased.
After burial, everyone gathers at the same table to honor the loving memory of the deceased.
From my experience: on days like this we did not eat much. Someone was busy cooking, someone mourned and couldn't stay strong. But the energy of loved ones and the energy of compassion give strength to spend days without food.
Concentration is spent on those who are depressed.
After the funeral, the mirrors are kept covered in the house, it is not allowed to make noise, do not turn off the light in the house during a week and relatives settle in the house of the deceased. Relatives stay at the house to bring the grieving side to the conversation. It is supposed to recall only bright or funny moments from the life of the deceased.
At such moments, the kitchen becomes a common room. Everyone cook everything together, clean it up together.
This how a person shares pain with loved ones and is not left alone.
In the first year after death, it is not supposed to sell the house, move to another city.
There is a belief that in the first year after death, the soul of the deceased comes home.
 
This is what I came up with while I was observing our traditions:
During the memorial ceremony, Our people’s qualities are more evident than ever before
- BAUYRMALDYQ[relatives feelings],
QAYYRYMDYLYQ [mercy].
To say goodbye to the deceased for the last time - this is the main significant goal of the family and surroundings of the deceased, for the family of the deceased this is not only a heartbreaking challange, but an important exam for cohesion and organization.
Every Friday we cook for seven pieces flatbread, they are fried in oil.
The smell of flatbread and oil spreads throughout the house. Seven  peices flatbread are dedicated to seven deceased grandfathers, we leave one flatbread in the house, the remaining six are given to neighbors.
 
In the sense of energy, the soul finds peace. The smell is about the same when I burn a lamp, this skill is taken in Mysore and combining with Kazakh traditions greatly changes the internal situation at home.
After the death of our fathers, I often visit the temple, church, mosque - any place where prayers are read. Or I read mantras myself. I am guided by the internal state. When I feel peace in my heart, ancestors are calm.
There are still some moments that came as knowledge after the death of fathers, but knowledge came after reading the Book: "Cult of ancestors. The power of blood".
The main message of the book is the study of its geneological tree, to be responsible for raising a new generation, to preserve the memory of ancestors, to read prayers, to strengthen family ties.
The book says that man is not only a biological being. People do not rely only on instincts, culture has a great importance to us, which is the main system, thanks to which we transfer our experience to descendants. This exists both at the level of universal human culture and at the level of the person himself and his relatives. And the culture of veneration of ancestors is what connects all people. After all, no matter what faith we believe in, we are someone's descendants and, if lucky, someone's ancestor.
 
When a spirit leaves this world after a man’s death, his soul stays here in the information field. If the living forget about it - it disappears, if they remember - it continues to be here. The memory of the soul can be preserved after the spirit is embodied in a new body and receives a new soul. In this case, the spirit will have access to information about its previous incarnation, that is, an understanding of  experience, which will help him further improve  strengths and correct mistakes. The information field is formed by living people  thoughts, so people seek to "stay in the memory of descendants" - this gives the spirit additional knowledge of themselves.

Therefore, the memory of ancestors is so important.

The memory of the living of the soul creates a connection between the spirit and the human's world. If none of the living people recalls about the deceased person, does not remember, then his soul loses the "record" in the information field of the Earth and the spirit loses its memory. In this case, he cannot take advantage of  experience, and you need to live it again and again in order to truly learn and go to a new level. 
I often recall one of the students asking Sharatji a question in an old shala : "Does he miss a  Guruji?"
Sharatji smiled and said: "How can I miss? He is here. He's in our hearts. His energy is here with us all the time".
Now I think for a long time what brought me to Mysore?
Previously, I worked for Air Astana airlines, there was a Lost & Found - lost luggage department. Like this baggage, we travel with  emotional weight to India to get an example of strong blood, where a great cult was laid to knowledge, teachers, ancestors and spiritual life.
Watching everything that happened I realized the role in the family, I am responsible for the speech I give to the child, for the traditions that remained in the family.
 
In 2014-17, I worked closely with the Japanese community in Mysore.
I was able to understand how much they appreciate the presence of the person they’re talking to.
None of the them create a field for judging, sarcasm, or praising their merits or intrigue. Each of them gives space without pendulums and manipulations. Isn't it a manifestation of value and respect for human's life?
 
The Tibetan book of death says "weare moving towards the end", children are raised with these words and awareness of the value of life is inherent in each family. The memorial services are different. Unlike us in Tibetan culture, the study and preparation for death originates from childhood, and not from the first loss in the house.
Getting to know The Bhagavad Gita gave a new branch for thought.
Krishna said to Arjuna: Those who worship the devas will go to the realm of the devas; 
Those who worship their ancestors will be United with after death.
Those who worship phantoms will become phantoms, but my devotees will come to me.
On my way, I met people who believe in angels. There are people who are completely esoteric and believe in other realities. My relatives worship ancestors and believe that ancestors communicate through dreams. There are people who believe in phantoms and different Gods and go to temples all the time.
My mind all the time perceived it like this: where is the truth ?! And the truth is everywhere. And this, and this, and this. The main thing is where you look, where you direct your energy and how devoted you are to your faith.
Everything is energy and the soul of all living things is immortal.

The 2020 pandemic prompted many to reconsider  life. And my vision of the mysore  classes has changed, I am moved by the empathy more. Someone might call it the amenity of my temper. A person comes with its baggage of emotions and experience and the best I can do: stand by, so that he does not damage himself, cheer up with words or teach if he wants to adopt any skill. I am increasingly beginning to feel the responsibility and meaning of conducting morning classes.
Due to the fact that we live many emotions on the mat, at the culmination points of life the ability to separate ourselves from the mental shell. And this is a support for common sound thinking. Having the appropriate support there are resources to help loved ones at the right time.

Over the past two years, I have a good and strong mental attitude: all weak points are landmarks, that is, the direction in which you need to explore and study. This is the basic doctrine of death.

In September, I was lucky enough to take part in a retreat organized by Scarlett and Yoshie .The theme of the retreat was "Photography." The subject of the photographs was creations of Master Ferdinand Bohmé. The retreat was accompanied by yoga classes, meditation, pranayama, healthy food, walks to the mountains, swimming in lakes, conversations about mindfulness and Japanese and Austrian culture.

There were seven participants. People came from different countries: Germany, Latvia, Netherlands, Kazakhstan, Slovenia and UK.

The main idea of the retreat was “spontaneous planning”. Initially, Scarlett has spelled out the details what we could see in the district of the village Bad Mitterndorf. We have decided that we would be nice and easy-going with each other, no matter the situation. We were asked to treat everything with love and be open-minded during the retreat. To take care about the house, to give help in the kitchen and to create. During the opening ceremony, everyone told how they got to the retreat, what was the purpose and what were our expectation of the weekly rest period.

This my fifth or sixth meeting with Scarlett and the third time when I came to her classes. Every time I learn not only yoga which is stated as the subject of the retreat, I also learn when I live with her, I watch her creatively approach to the organization of the retreat, how she cooks and keeps the house, I see the deep attention she pays to her partner, garden, chalet and how she gets on well with people.

 Besides, we all managed to see the statues closely. When you focus on the details of the statue, it comes to life. I would say that I am exaggerating my emotions, its not an illusion. Probably we figured out how to observe Ferdinand’s works through the camera. This invasion into the art came smooth and naturally.

There was an interesting experiment which was offered by Scarlett. We have lighted torches and took a walk through the park in night time. We lighted up the statues with a help of torches and took photos of the them. It was unusual experience. To make clear for you, I would notice that Scarlett and Ferdinand’s house is located at the bottom of the Alpine mountains. During the night the mountains and fields are lighted only by the light of the moon. Its breath-taking night landscape.

Sculptor, Ferdinand Bohme

Three days of sculptures Ferdinand Bohmé told about how he worked on statues: from the stage of searching for inspiration (how he waited for the moment of realization to what a huge block of stone and the color of the stone will lead it) to completion. He repeatedly said that choosing a stone is an easy task, it takes place at the level of intuition. But only time would show the final resul of the work. The stone may stand untouched or unfinished from 5 to 15 years. He said he could not sleep at night, walk around the stone, feel it, smell it. I visit his house and I saw a working place filled with sketches, books of Da Vinci and other artists. There are books about anatomy and art which have a peculiar white plaque of stones in his workshop. Once he said that he wanted to organize a retreat where all the participants would create their own Buddha from clay every day. Because working in a stream, being fully absorbed into work, a person enters a state of meditation easily. He gave an interesting example: "When Osho speaks,  he makes a long pauses between words. The listeners wait silently for the continuation, not realizing that it is this very pause that soaks their consciousness with the moment "now. “This is how they get into the meditation. And it doesn 't matter what was the meaning of Osho 's words. The moment of pause, the present moment of listeners is important. "

Any of his statue went through the study of books, myths, legends, sketches, the preparation of a model of clay and years of work with stones, the design of the statue and the search for a place. "Stones are my essay of life, its the diary" often says Ferdinand. Each bend reminds him of a certain period of life.

In the evenings you can hear classic music in Ferdinand’s house. Scarlett says that they start their day with practicing. Walks to the mountains, swimming in the lakes, taking care of the garden this is a usual routine which became a part of her life before she quitted teaching classes.  

If she gives classes or retreats, it means that she just shares her lifestyle with us. She turned her wishes and practice into real life. She doesn’t like talking about herself. But it is necessary to mention that the house which we lived in all these days, is full of love, life and energy which is everywhere.

This wonderful couple lives alone with the nature, without phones and social networks. This allows to pay more attention to art, gardening and music.

One of the organizers of this retreat was Japanese girl, her name is Yoshie. She cooked for us. For the last ten years, Yoshie has visited almost all countries of post-Soviet Union territory. she studies the history of the USSR and the consequences of the collapse of this super power.

It was interesting to talk to her and she easily shared her culture and experience of her travelling. At the end of the retreat, Yoshie gave away all of her stuff, because she said she didn’t need it during the trip. Only necessary things. She said to me “My baggage is my home”. I am very excited to meet her in my country, I wanted to listen to her more and I want to learn to cook like she does. Yoshie looks like a little samurai while she cooking. She manages everything so easy and fast. The combination of souses, oils and toppings are the result of her many years of experience. She cooks and eats in silence. It is pure pleasure to learn from Yoshie.

Get back home, I 'm ready to reconsider how me and my family are spending time. As I said before, any meeting and training with Scarlett take a toll on me. I 'm quite inspired and ready to work hard! I realized what I missed for myself. I need to meet these people more often to keep on working and creating.